since your the only one...

...who knows this blog exists. i've been wanting to share this song with you for quite some time. i dont know if you've heard it. its "better man" by pearl jam. the lyrics i'm sure will hit home

youtube vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWzLgWWu5wU

lyrics:

Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man (2x)
Ohh...

Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man (2x)
Yeah...

She loved him, yeah...she don't want to leave this way
She needs him, yeah...that's why she'll be back again
Can't find a better man (3x)
Can't find a better...man...
Ohh...ohh...
Uh huh... (5x)
Ohh...

bliss

sittin' here
groovin' out, loosin' out
on a world with tacks for hands
in my underwear nodding off to some
dream about
something i dream about
being lost in a world full of brush to clear
mountain laurels obstructing my there to here
and disjointed sentences
drawing nearer than near
does this make any sense?
im asking
does anyone sweat like this?
sweat drops moist as a kiss
does anyone dream like this?
i wonder
this can't even be this
its just a mist
in this rainstorm of parading pedals
and weight falling like a black anvil
sittin' here, staring at the ceiling and
what a thing it becomes
black and heavy
i can't believe it, by god
its bliss

A special place I'd like to share with you

There’s a very special place I’d like to share with you
I’ll never be able to, but I’d like to
Its green, I’ve sped by it
Whirled round it
Spoke loudly just to drown it
In sound
Bumps and cracks
in the road didn’t stop it
From posing a perfect stance
For my picture
As I glance out this car window
It’s a field, and in it
You dance
Whimsically, with the wind
I never needed a second chance
Just to drive by and see you dance…
Oh what a rush of unexplainable enough
Oh what a rush
Just to see you dance
I am sucked into this
My chest erupts and the lava
flows into this…
You made a part
Of a speckle only felt when
I was a wee little dreamer
Stuck behind that little wire fence
In my front lawn
And I knew as the music played
As young as I was
That one day some golden hair like yours
Would blanket me in passion
Leave me wanting more
And give me a reason to have ever felt
And never to feel at all
That place will never leave
every night I bury my face and this I see
A warning to abandon those long reeds
That will hug us in their arms
Only if we hug ourselves
to first love us
Then lay and evaporate to the sun…

every song applies

jack said maybe jane
once felt before what jim
handed down to his
heir of pain with a
smiling face in the night
that went to day
and we all felt the same
because phases just remain
the one that pains
us who can't accept
we're all inept
to never realize
we're just a fiber
the same and the same
again and again
and every song applies
each written by
a glowing dot
on a big glowing dot
sometimes red

i'm doing less and less of a good job of a red ladybug hiding with a big rock cock

go for a walk
go watch the walk
stop, count the clocks
sun sets and day knocks
just to preface
i got this thing
starts like a sting
a plop and a plip
spin round the wire
at the center of my desire
for a big sun
a red pedal push it like
a blue metal
shone leaf-cloned
achievement
deceit that cloaks a thing on repeat
press the play button
spun it sucks a bit from it
and the cracks open
but the light finds a knife-like
way to cut
but, but, but
i wont be the launching pad no more
i wanna stop this bore of a big black spot
my mind held back from thought
big grey spots
a splotch
don't cop no drop
to pop lock off like a big beauteous wonder
im on my way to
and trip on
long-shot we can't be long
its takin the time
that makes space for rhymes
but im done
i'm just rather angry, you see. this thing seems stuck on repeat within me and i have nothing to say. there are placemats on the table and i have this china i don't know how to re-arrange. there are people talking around me that i don't know how to interpret. there was a time on a trampoline once where i was happy and i didn't have anything on my mind. i have something on my mind, and its a meat cleaver. and i got a big slab of cut-able meat in my conciousness and i'm just throwin' it on the table. have at it, im just throwin it on the table. i dont know what to do. the past few have proved anew i dont know what to do. i just have a pushing, burning, braking, bristling, scraping peeling oomph thats engaged within a glass frame that reminds me daily. it reminds me day to day. and i will just jump up and slam my hard fist into the sheetrock and fuck fuck fuck but anyways ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss s sukh
and by the way
if it's glass
i can break it any day...

systemic

wouldn't it be nice, if we had a trigger
a pulley
a lever
a uh
haha
button
that let us have "something come over me"
no more face to face
but it with the warning
a warning of ruin
god-forsaken
spitten upon
failure, misbred attempts
at a special fence
between real life and a chip and a plastic chip and fingertips
losing grip
a plastic chip
ha
why
giddily nullify
the reason why
the pry
between two layers
crow-bar says hello
give it a face
we're welcomed to say hello
and it never ends
we want it so
ill remain chaired
but theres so much more to know

as i get progressively drunker
i reject this machination
the paltry, twiddly dim dip
worthlessness
of electronic
embodiment
now a guitar smashes through the ashes
a brick wall fine to crumble
between sparse and inherent phobias
pains so painful
and laughter's much louder yeah
this is splitting
she wants to comfort
and day after next
she
wants to dive into else-forth
all the while
she never did a thing
the mushy mass mess of a pink
plain sprained brain contains
paranoia draining out the eyes
of a blank donkey
blind to follow
and once filled with virtue
but demonizes
the most innocent thing
born to be

"see, jake, the thing about poetry is the START connects to the END. YOUR poetry, however, starts somewhere and ends in Zimbabwe...you'll never convey the point..."
-thank you elliot, go suck a fuck