Revelation

I remember asking her
How someone could be so malicious
As to contribute one more tragedy that she didn’t deserve
One more nail in the coffin

Now I know
And while she finds freedom elsewhere
Reincarnated in the southern sun
I’ll be digging my own grave

on him, written 11/20/10

Sooner than an asteroid
May wipe us all clean
You throw a pensive struggle
With my left arm as glasses, I sit confused

Realize yourself
Facts may keep my eyes asleep
If your trying to mummify
Let my steps sleep better than the lids of each eye

Don’t think for a second
That your glance goes unnoticed
The direction blooms
Pedals plucked, then black as the lotus

Something crawling into the “me” that you knew
Your retreat, as obvious as little plastic eyes,
A white cardboard snowman
And some glue

He lingers
And although
On this pure hopscotch ground I wish for my shadow
His own arm casts that black outline upon your shoulders

Where do I go from here?
A southern state wishes to take you away
I’ll stay here, knelt
Something may come my way.

It sucks to forget
And even worse to forgive
After stones walked across
I simply can’t believe its come to this

Perhaps she’s more comfortable in a blanket of the past
As the past tapes on a delaying neglect that female’s wrap
Themselves within the chaos, neglect and abuse
It seems no use to be so nice
When her head in bed dreams of the chaos that he spread
Upon her blouse, her face, with knives and fists
No single trace of grace
She’s somehow crawling back for more
No scientific evidence to show
That I may never know my kindness
To provide this comfort that may blind
Her sense of inner-peace
When the only love she’s ever known is
Pieces of the hell that he has brought
Forever torturing the knots
Within her jaw from holes once drilled
And from the stirring stew
The pot of frustration
Chaos, deceit, invasion, manipulation
As sociopathic condensation
Of irrational ideas and dna-bending
Spilt across her innocent eyes
How could you spend your time shaking hands with these lies?
A mystery
Forever to myself
She can come or she can go
She tries to avoid the four seasons
As each emotion strangles her
And grows
But I will stay
Perhaps she’ll stay too
Unless she sees
My style as cartoon,
Simply a child-like representation
Of any seriousness that him,
The violent fuck may have once possessed
A stalker trying to convince you
Of his “yes”
And as evil as it sounds
I wouldn’t doubt for a second that his smile
And his memory would shake your face
Away from this stray betrayal
And perhaps
You may
Forgive
The senseless crime
That he committed
And then
Only then would I give up on you,
I wouldn’t be the only one miserable.

limp, hollow arms

limp, hollow arms

limp hollow arms she calls them

dangly, stringy, paths to an infested head

vying for potency

i've read those words

the ghost of these limp, hollow arms

clutches my chest

the shadow of that memory

battering my forehead with the agony

only misperception can carry

i'm still sinking,

but still ready to remind

perhaps the words

"i can see his

sturdy, full arms

beating you to the end of this flat world"

would impose less gravity on your tears

as they would drip in furor ,

stain my sheets with anguish

crawl back into the ducts

and drench on repeat

and i began to do,

i began to...

i...

i chose a lifeless something to murmur

i watched my hollow arms shrink

i photographed your spirit strangling itself

i absorbed your tears as they fell anyway

i heard you tell me you couldn't stay

i made the room darker than it was

i silently begged for you to sleep soundly

i cried in the wake of your absence

i felt you'd never return

i waited for your voice,

i waited for your voice.

you surprise me every day

we're all scared

wake up
we're going on bike rides
through the city if
your pedals are a struggle,
i'll be there with some dice
a kite flying up high
your image in the sky
a balloon for you and i
watch the air while whispering
the only thing
you haven't told any else before
i think its a bore
that you can do
what your grinning heart-mouth can barely even chew

we're all scared
we're all scared
we're all scared
we're all scared

nhwayhttakyamlty

Now lay down,

Look at the sun

See my eyes

Just havin’ some fun

Toil with the hair

Clothes everywhere

A warm grass blade

Just tickles and stares

One by one

The pieces dismiss

Us together

What a piece it is

Now stand back

Observe the bliss

You’ve left your body

But we’ll never leave this

But You burnt a bridge

And now it’s back

A life of its own

A road filled with cracks

Drenched in forgotten

Miles of colored dust

Swirls above our heads

And desert scenery must oh

Leave us peacefully

To our content

We’ll die here together

Sooner than when we met

Sooner than when we met

Cruder.

you absolutely have been right
always
i would have told you sooner but a katana slashes my words
all you hear is
du duh, duh, duh duh duh d-d-d-d
broken nothing
and in between the cracks
peek squeezed globs of sincere
you know of my many fears
and the strings tied tightly to my lips
pulled by levers that crack and tear
maybe i did

i find so much brightness in your eyes
but remain stoic with the sadness falling just as near
you know whats scurrying about
between lobes
above matter
around bends of the soul and mind
that play inside
unspoiled by the breath
into this cruel, untouchable world

we have our bodies for now
let's not hold back
release yourself and clench my spine like you do
unearth that exacerbated yelp that gives me
such an oh so
my god, so beautiful-
-these lips are zipped, for now.
let your hands do the talking,
let them dance
of this time we've known our souls so
much longer than we see
its forever
dance freely
when time doesnt exist
theres much of us to hold dearly

submitted in writing... (finally)

submitted in writing...
i suppose she's looking for reasons
much like i ask needless questions
but to me
all that is concealed in a statement
is revealed in a glance
or motion of the hand,
perhaps in an exchange of unheard things
why i exude a nervous chuckle
the chuckle kneels to a radiant face
warm soul, perpetual and perrenial boundaries
infinity, almost defined and within reach
as her chest erupts a non-descript series of gentle hums
my eyes acting as hands in the field of anonymous flowers
each of her lashes
slowly, closer
each of her lashes
close enough to taste, now
her lashes
each a petal for plucking
the sun becomes irrelevant
eyes that spill blood but soak warmth
still, questions
and when i do look into her gaze
my skin beckons
wishing to pinpoint any slice to any particular knife
the bleeding continues
nothing so full of life as the red that falls
once blue
she's died before but with blood she will ignite
a birth born from spasms intricately placed
completing something
i love to hug her
and fear that word
and i very much love to kiss
a hummed chuckle can say so much about this
but words can
at times, deconstruct the bliss
i wish to convey a sense with a lense
your eyes, placed rigidly at the scope
to observe curiously the words rounding each bend
eventually crumbling with infinity, closer to the end
may you with some glow poking through the clouds
wishing for you to say
with him, perhaps, i do like going to bed
some things are better left unsaid.